In the off-season, what is Santa called?
What is Mrs. Claus’s first name?
What does Santa think of his wife?
No other woman can hold a candle to her.
How would you describe Mrs. Claus’s role in the family?
A Sandrapetal force.
Her talent as a musician?
What is the name of Santa's clergyman?
What is Santa’s daughter’s first name?
What is their cat’s name?
What is its breed?
Who is Santa’s agent in Warsaw?
The North Pole.
What is the first name of Santa’s workshop foreman?
When Santa calls the roll in his workshop, what do his helpers reply?
What do they say when he makes too many puns?
“Gift us a break!”
Where does Santa keep his spare helpers?
In an elf-storage unit.
Why does Santa hold on to so many presents?
Because he’s quite elfish.
What does he drink for breakfast?
What does he drink when he hits the Midwest?
What distance does Santa travel in the Pine Tree State?
A pretty fir piece.
What instrument does he play in California?
The Santa harMonica.
What does Mrs. Claus play?
The Santa Claranet.
What is Santa’s favorite song?
What is Mrs. Claus’s favorite song?
“Beclaus of You.”
What song does Santa sing to naughty children?
“Yule Be Sorry.”
How would you describe the ghost of Santas past?
They are wreath-like.
What is the fear of Christmas called?
Which of Santa’s reindeer likes to dress up?
Which one has boils and can’t spell?
Which is hopeless?
Which one smokes like a chimney?
Which of Santa’s reindeer is gay?
Which one is greedy?
What do the reindeer call their leader behind his back?
What does Santa say when they tell him a joke?
You sleigh me.
What does Santa call it when his team pulls an ICBM?
A missile tow.
What is Santa’s favorite quote?
“Snow man is an island entire of himself.”
Why does Santa retain a lawyer?
To write a just clause.
What is the first Law of Christmas?
Claus and effect.
What does Santa say to swamp dwellers in a ravine?
Mirey Chasms to you!
What does he say at the baptism of a descendant of the editor of the Oxford English Dictionary?
What does he say to eelers?
To Islamic astronomers?
To Colley Cibber?
On the Waterfront?
To foggy Londoners?
To the fiancées of beauticians?
To the Holy Ghost?
When does Santa say, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night?
Never. He says, “Happy Christmas,” etc.
Where do the Clauses go for vacation?
The South Pole.
What does Santa think is the real Reason for the Season?
The Winter Solstice.