Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Nineteen

PART NINETEEN
THE GIFT OF BRAG
Donald said in a fib quite specious
But in manner not ferocious
Though exceedingly egregious.
LOYALTY
Would you enjoy it if you were on Trumpkin's list?
Friend of the President, ever a loyalist?
Then you must swear it is only his arse you've kissed,
Psychoproboscularanalizationist!
TRUMPLIST
I want a parade, the clomping of feet,
I want to beat off to a drum!
I want to see everyone stand
And nobody kneel, but cheer as I come.
That rat-a tat-tat, the blare of a horn —
That rat-a tat-tat — it’s better than porn!
The sight of a drill will give me a thrill,
I thrill at the skill of everything horny!
I want a parade with hobbling vets,
A line of cadets, an aging brigade,
I want a parade!
ALLIGATORS
"Guys are losing their positions
Just because of alligators!
Who can work in such conditions?
Women are such operators!
"Where's the proof? Just one black eye?
Ladies are such dirty traitors.
Her ass meant that pigs can fly --
So can crocs and alligators!
"I'm a man of real convictions,
Not just fake news husband haters
Making up hallucinations
Convicting on mere alligators."
WITS
"I must keep my wits about me
Now that Rosenstein has said
They've indicted Russian hackers...,
Oh, I mustn't lose my head
"Over this -- there's no collusion,
Just unwitting dupes in bed
With my good pal Vlad Rasputin
Who was once a Commie Red
"But is now a great Dictator
That I do not need to dread.
I don't have a witless henchman --
I guess most of those have fled
"Into Witless Protection Programs
For the politically inbred,
And at worst my closest sidekicks
Are just half-witted instead.
"Once again I'm vindicated!
All my worries have been shed!
I'm no crook like Richard Nixon
And there will be no bloodshed!"
COCK OF THE WALK
The Cock of the Walk sees his flocks
Being murdered by a rabid fox.
He keeps his comments nice and bland
And sticks his head into the sand.