ARMS AND THE TRUMP
(With apologies to Robert Browning)
Boot, saddle, to horse and away!
Arm the teachers! Start shooting today --
No time to reason, no time to pray!
(Chorus) "Boot, saddle, to horse, and away!"
Shoot up the the suburbs, asleep as you'd say;
Many's the shooter will not get away
Good luck to teachers who enter the fray!
(Chorus) "Boot, saddle, to horse, and away!"
Forty rounds fired, but none go astray!
Those teachers are deadly in their own way
Even though some of them must be gay!
(Chorus) "Boot, saddle, to horse, and away!"
School boards will have to lower their pay
To purchase those guns, but heck, what the hey!
Teachers can work in the summer, can't they?
(Chorus) "Boot, saddle, to horse, and away!"
HERO WITH BONE SPURS
Even if i had no gun
I'd have run inside,
Even if the doors were locked
I'd bust them open wide
And tackle that young murderer
With his automatic gun,
Knock him to the high school
floor --
A face-off, one-on-one!
I wouldn't stand outside the
school
Listening to shots
Like that coward of a cop --
I hope to Hell he rots.
We need heroes who can act,
Not creeps who brag a lot.
We need men like those who
lived
In Arthur's Camelot.
HOPE SOMETIME HICKS
What has happened tp Hope Hicks?
She hung around and took her licks,
But now she's headed for the sticks
To deal with black flies and with ticks.
ROBIN
"I steal from the rich and give to the poor,"
Says the outlaw Robin Hood.
"I do the opposite," says Donald Trump,
"And trade wars are always good."
HUSHABYE
HIs lawyer bribed the porn star on his own,
Was never reimbursed by Donald Trump,
Was never thrown a scrap of rind or bone --
He simply tossed his money in the dump.
Do you believe such an egregious lie?
Alas, my friend, alack! Neither do I.
HEADS OF STATE
Orange Head and Mushroom Head
Both were ping- pong freaks;
They learned of this phenomenon
By reading "Wikileaks,"
Therefore they thought they'd play a game
And end their wordy fray
Before they got too old and tame
And could no longer play:
PYONGYANG!
So back and forth the white ball went --
They volleyed till, at last,
These noble heads of State were spent
And each was in a cast.
Then each one took a final shot
And could no longer play:
They heard their final ricochet --
PYONGYANG!
TRADE
Mrs. Trump didn't kill her son,
She fed him lots of mayo,
So now he's fired Tillerson
And traded him for Pompeo.
From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.
