Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Twenty-Four

PART TWENTY-FOUR

 

VISITATION

 

"The boss of Russia's not Rasputin!

I'll visit, not embarrass, Putin,

I do not plan to harass Putin

'cuz he's my pal -- there's no disputin'

I'm as wacko as Rasputin,

And that is just as sure as shootin'!"

 

 

TWIT TWITTERING

 

Donald Trump

Thinks with his rump

And loves to Twitter

With his shitter.

 

 

COILLUSION

 

Donald and Rudy 

Are both being moody --

In the latter's confusion 

He says that "collusion

Is no kind of crime!"

Don says, "About time

We pointed that out!"

But Rudy's a lout,

For Oxford's rendition

Of the true definition

Of "collusion" is "Secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy in order to deceive others...." 

So Trump is a fool,

And Rudy's his tool.

 

 

TRUTH

 

"The truth is not the truth,"

Says Giudy Ruliani,

"My name is not my name,"

Cries Rudy Giuliani.

 

"My nose is not my nose,"

Says Trump's finest attorney,

"His ass smells like a rose

Supine upon a gurney

 

"As Don's rolled down the hall,"

Asserts the spaghetti lawyer,

"To have my nose removed --

I guess they'll need a sawyer

 

"To saw my wooden nose

Off there right at the crack line

Just below the spot

Where most folks have a spine,

 

"Which Donny claims he's got,

But who can tell what's true?

I don't think it is I (me?) --

It's certainly not you!"

 

 

CONVICTIONS

 

Fake news witch-hunt! No collusion!

I won't tolerate restrictions!

You're just stirring up confusion!

I'm a man of great convictions!

 

Sessions fails me with recusion!

Russians screw up our elections!

I can't even get my shoes on

Before I don my new convictions!

 

Manafort -- merely illusions!

Cohen is inventing fictions!

Stab wounds are more than contusions!

I have multiple convictions!

 

 

TRUMP LOSES PECKER

 

"Oh, no! Not Pecker too!

I may have been too cocky!

Flipping should be illegal!

This bed is feeling rocky!

 

"He used to be my friend!

He spiked that woman's story

By buying it, not to publish,

But own its rights to bury

 

"While I was running hard,

Trying for the erection 

Of a college of Electors

That would swing the big election.

 

Now Pecker's gonna soften,

Confirm that female's tale,

And I'll be hoist on my petard

In substance and detail!"