Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs Part Twenty-Six

PART TWENTY-SIX

SUSAN COLLINS

The Mainely Republican senator
Won't let constituents menace her.
She'll put on the Court
A pro-woman sort
Unless he's a Donald Trump creditor.

MANNEQUIN

Maine's Representative Poliquin
Won't be interviewed or dare frolic in
The media 'cuz
They think he's a scuz,
But he's merely a standard Republican.

TESTICULAR TESTIFICATION

Did white men grill Anita Hill,
Then toss her on the DC landfill?
Did they appoint that dumbass Thomas
For his lifetime to the SCROTUS?
Should Christine Ford just jump aboard
The Brahma bull and then get gored?
If I were she I'd simply flee.


TRUMP'S HURRICANE

"This is a tough hurricane,
One of the wettest we've ever seen
From the standpoint of water."
(But not from the swimpoint of an otter.)


I DO NOT LOVE THEE

I do not love thee, Donald Trump,
I see you and I take a dump --
It hurts because it's such a lump!
I do not love  thee, Donald Trump!


THE INJUDICIOUS JUDGE

We saw him blow his top,
We watched in utter awe
As this resentful man
Displayed his fatal flaw:

His failure to believe
He had a flaw at all
From the moment he was born
Till we saw him start to bawl.

Poor ickle-wickle Brett!
How did we dare accuse
This paradigm of law
Of trying to amuse

Himself at a high-school party
By trying to screw a girl
Without her full consent?
Far, far too drunk to hurl

Her on the bed and strip
Her party clothing off,
He let her get away
And never got his boff!

He gave his best defense,
One he would not allow
In his own court of law:
"Not guilty then and now!

"That's all you need to know!"
Now here we sit in awe
Of this unappointable
New Justice Kavanaugh!


JUSTICE

Rah, rah, rah!
Ha, ha, ha!
I am Justice Kavanaugh!
Justice Thomas sits near me,
Justice Ginsberg on his knee --
Who'll be my gal? Wait and see --
Ha, ha, ha, ha! -- Who she'll be!