Poetics and Ruminations

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Eighteen

PART EIGHTEEN

 

SHUT UP!

January 20, 2018

 

Washington is shutting down,

Shutting down, shutting down,

Washington is shutting down,

My fair lady!

 

Donald Trump just won’t shut up,

Won’t shut up, won’t shut up,

Donald Trump just won’t shut up,

My fair lady!

 

Mitch McConnell can’t shut up

Can’t shut up, can’t shut up,

Mitch McConnell can’t shut up,

My fine fellow!

 

Paulie Ryan should shut up,

Should shut up, should shut up,

Paulie Ryan should shut up,

What a maroon!

 

Midnight and the government 

Is shut down, is shut down,

Midnight and the government 

Is no longer!

 

Paul and Mitch and Donald Trump

Shut it down, shut it down,

Paul and Mitch and Donald Trump

Finally shut up.

 

 

FAKE NEWS

 

"Nothing could be duller

Than to fire Robert Mueller

Way last su-u-um-mer.

I swear before my Maker,

Mister, nothing could be faker,

Or any dum-um-umber

Than these fake news stories

Slipped beneath my door,

Printed in the news rags

I want to see no more!

 

Fake investigations

As I deal with famous nations

Far from ho-o-o-ome!

Here among the Swiss

Why, there is nothing hit or miss

As I ro-o-o-oam.

If I had a cruller

I would swallow Robert Mueller

And I'd call it a day,

I'd chew him up and spit him out 

And then I would say, 

'Nothing would be duller

Than to fire Robert Mueller

In the su-u-um-mer.

I swear before my Maker, mister,

Nothing could be faker...,

Than to wait till sum-mer!'"

 

TRUMPED UP

 

“Andy McCabe is a dirty rat

Because his wife is a Democrat

And when I asked him how he voted 

He said my question was duly noted,

But he refused to say that he 

Had stood in the booth and chosen me

Which brought my blood up to a boil

Because I knew he wasn’t loyal.

Now he’s quit as deputy director

Of the Bureau — he’s a defector,

For he’s ‘retiring’ and people claim

I harassed his ass and I’m to blame

Because I traded tooth for tooth —

Nothing is farther from the truth!”

 

 

TRUMPTEAM

 

Things are seldom what they seem—

Tell me, are you on my team

Or are you a turncoat swine?

Tell me, Mr. Rosenstein.

 

Frequently,

That may be.

 

Justice is served publicly —

Will you serve it or serve me?

Will you act on my say-so,

Shifting as my winds may blow?

 

Yes, you’re right —

You are a kite.

 

I don’t trust you for a second!

You won’t do as you are beckoned,

You’re a lawyer with degrees ,

You’ll serve the law, Not my decrees!

 

That IS my job,

Yessiree bob.

 

Well, then you’re gone, so get thee hence!

Move your split ass off of that fence!

I need someone who’s on my side,

Not who will weigh and then decide.

 

Bye-bye, then, chief.

Don’t come to grief.

 

 

RINGS SURROUND PELOSI

 

Rings surround Pelosi,

And they give Trump a posy:

Ashes! Ashes!

Republicans fall down!

 

 

OLD CLEAN COAL

 

Old clean coal is a dirty

Old soul,

And a dirty old soul is he,

He calls for a pipe, for a dirty black smoke

Is all that he wants to be.

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.

 

 

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Seventeen

 

 

THE GREATEST

 

I lead the world’s most greatest nation,

And I have signed more legislation

Than any President before me

Because not signing bills would bore me,

That’s why my friends are all dumb clucks

And dorks, and I own herds of ducks —

I sign the bills of any birds

That Congress brings me from my herds.

 

 

WORRY WART

 

My list of worries never fades:

I fret about the chambermaids

In my hotels in the Everglades --

All Haitian immigrants have AIDS.

 

ISIS-fostered domestic raids

Worry me, the guy who wades

The Rio Grande and invades --

All Haitian immigrants have AIDS.

 

Those citizens sporting darker shades

Of skin, one who invades 

From Elsewhere, can’t get passing grades --

All Haitian immigrants have AIDS.

 

The foreign trader who wants fair trades,

Disloyal Oval Office aides --

I wish they all would go to Hades

Like Haitian immigrants with AIDS.

 

 

DIALOG

 

"Trump the chump, Trump the chump --

He has committed treason."

 

"Manafort, Manafort

Has lost his job and reason!"

 

"Trump has met with Russian spies!

We should lance his boil!"

 

"Manafort's the pig that flies --

Man, is he disloyal!"

 

"Chain Trump up, lock him down,

Throw away the key!"

 

"Manafort's an evil clown,

He doesn't worry me."

 

 

TRUMPET CALL

 

I had a situation where I didn’t learn English,

But I had a remuneration where I was very smart,

So I became a genius as soon as I was born,

And then I taught my self how to fart.

 

There was a class that I had to read a page,

So that was way beneath my present situation,

That was, you know, why I have Sessions

To tend to my legal fluctuation.

 

I’m not being an object of investigation

By anyone it’s just getting in the way 

Of letting me do whatever I want 

For the American people

Who elected me by many millions no matter what they say.

 

 

STABLE GENIUS 

 

I’m a very stable genius, 

Yes a very stable genius, 

A stable genius-type is what I am,

I’m a winner, not a loser,

Not an also-ran or loser,

I’m a curser and accuser — I’m The Man!

I’m a pussy-grabbing winner From my breakfast to my dinner,

I’m a Christian, not a sinner, yes I am!

I’m a very stable genius 

When it comes to hamburg menus,

I can down a burger any time at all,

In my bedroom, in the bathroom, 

all I need’s a bit of headroom, I can even eat a burger in the hall!

I’m a very stable genius 

When it comes to hamburg menus,

I’m a winner not a loser, that’s for sure!

I’m a pussy-grabbing Christian

And I’m on my biggest mission

To remain so from now on forevermore!

 

 

SHITHOLE NATIONS

 

Close the ports and airfields!

Close those border stations

And build that frigging wall!

We don’t want dusky maidens

And big black bruiser buggers

From all those shithole nations

Clogging up our sewers —

Send us some Norwegians,

Some Danes and Swedish blondes—

Send them here in legions,

We’ll accept them all!

But we don’t need no Cajuns

No half-breeds short or tall,

Eating up our rations,

No slime from shithole nations!

 

 

COLLUSION

 

There is no collusion,

There is no collusion,

There’s lots of confusion,

But there’s no collusion

With anyone Roossion —

That’s just an illusion.

There was no collusion,

Excuse my intrusion,

But there’s no collusion,

I’ll drink an infusion

If there was collusion —

Jump to no conclusion!

There was no collusion,

That’s just an illusion,

Fake news, a delusion!

There was no collusion,

There is no collusion.

 

 

 

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Sixteen

 

 

XMAS TAX

 

Xmas is coming,

The rich are getting fat,

Please put a dollar

In Donald Trump’s hat;

If you haven’t got a dollar

A billion ought to do —

If you do not have a billion,

Well boo-hoo-hoo,

How sad for you!

 

 

WHENCE

 

Whence cometh Melania?

Is it from Albania?

No, from someplace greenier --

A valley in Slovenia!

Is Donald Trump her senior?

Yes, and he's much meanier.

 

 

THE AXE

 

Axe me no questions

And I'll tell you lies:

We're cutting your taxes

And, quick as time flies,

Your tax cuts expire,

But not those we gave

To the big corporations,

And that's why we rave.

You get what you pay for,

So you're getting nothing,

No roads, rails or bridges,

And that's really something

To put in the books

For following ages --

Local taxes go up

And down go your wages!

Merry Xmas, dear neighbor,

Happy New Year, you chump!

Get up on your roof, and

Get ready to jump!

 

 

CHALOO, CHALLAY!

 

Chaloo challay,

It’s Xmas Day,

And Donald Trump

Says we can say

“Merry Christmas”

once again —

Oh, Happy Day,

Chaloo challay

Donnie Trump

Says it’s okay!

He makes me feel

So goddam gay!

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.

 

 

KUDOS FOR CLAUDETTE

 

Claudette McFang has passed the test:

this pussycat can say it best!

Congress, the White House, the boudoir—

Claudette knows where the stories are

and tells them as they should be told.

Her facts are right, her lingo’s bold,

and she defends the righteous cause

with sharp and deadly verbal claws!

 

Rhina P. Espaillat

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Fourteen

 

 

DONNY IN FIRST GRADE

 

I have a big eraser

In my puffy little hand,

I wish it was a phaser --

I think that would be grand!

 

I'd stand beside a blackboard

With her talky chalky writing,

And I would show my teacher

How, instead of fighting

 

With my meanie classmates,

I'd totally destroy them

With death-rays from my ray gun --

And then I'd chew some boy gum

 

And stick it on the chair-seat

Belonging to my teacher

So she would add it to her skirt

As a stylish teacher feature!

 

 

LOAFING

 

You Puerto Ricans who aren't dead, 

Here's a loaf or two of bread...,

Catch!

 

 

A CORKER

 

My pal's Bob Corker,

He's no New Yorker,

He beats up Donald Trump

And won't crack a smile.

He strips the White House bare,

Says it's "adult day care,"

He thinks The Donald's Forrest Gump.

 

 

IN RE PENCE

 

Let me say a word re Pence:

Perhaps he is a little dense,

But he won't straddle any fence.

When Donald Trump says, "Get thee hence --

If any of those linemen kneel,

Show everybody how you feel

About Our Flag. Make a big deal

And just walk out! We can repeal 

The First Amendment if we make

A monstrous fuss -- a piece of cake!

Tell NFL, 'Jump in the lake,

The news we're making isn't fake...,'

Well, not so much, in any case,

It's all about True Blue, not race

Or tossing goodies to our base

And putting liberals in their place.

Go forth, then, Michael! Common sense

Be damned! Our troops must be intense!

No Hero of the Folk repents!"

Saith Donald Trumpkin in re Pence.

 

 

IQ

 

You say that I’m a moron

And that I have no IQ?

OK, you’re in my cabinet,

But I no longer like you.

 

You may as well go home,

You’re dead at any rate,

I will not listen to you —

Screw the affairs of State.

 

 

THE LIARS CLUB

 

“‘I’m sorry that your husband’s dead,

But he knew what he signed up for.’

That’s what Trump told me,” the widow said.

“Fake news!” He hollered with a roar.

“She’s a liar! They all are!

All those people in that car!”

 

 

NEWS IN GENERAL

 

I am the very model of a modern four-star General,

Except that now I work for Trump I can say things political.

In my opinion Trump can spout things absolutely cynical

To widows of the Fallen -- he can even be quite whimsical

Because he has a sense of humor I would say is typical

Of one who has no common sense but loves to wax, well, critical

In circumstances other folk might understand were pitiful

And didn't call for filling up the Internet with phony news

Or tweets and comments caused by drinking vats and bathtubs full of booze.

 

My name is John F. Kelly, you don't tell four stars what they can do!

I'm Chief-of-Staff to Donald Trump, I'm second to a cockatoo --

I stand up on this dung heap to defend the Flag, Red, White and Blue!

I never sweat, disdain to pee, nor do I ever caca too,

But I stand here defending Trump and crying, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Eleven

 

 

KNOCK-KNOCK, WHO'S THERE?

 

"Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,"

Cried Donald J. Trump, Junior.

 

"It is only I, a Russian spy,"

Cried a dark young woman.

"Come in, come in!" cried Donny Trumpkin.

 

"Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,"

Said Donald J. Trump, Junior.

 

"Oh, just another Russian spy,"

Called a lobbyist.

"Come in," said Donny, "and join the list."

 

"Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,

Who's that knocking at my door,"

Said Donald J. Trump, Junior, etc., etc....

 

 

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

 

You want to work for me?

Okay, you're hired.

You call that loyalty?

Okay, you're fired.

 

You'd like to do the job?

Okay, you're hired.

You tell me, "Don't butt in"?

Screw you -- you're fired.

 

SCARAMUCCI

 

Scaramuccia (literally "little skirmisher"), also known as Scaramouche or Scaramouch, is a stock clown character of the Italian commedia dell'arte. The role combined characteristics of the zanni (servant) and the Capitano(masked henchman). Usually attired in black Spanish dress and burlesquinga don, he was often beaten by Harlequin for his boasting and cowardice. -- Wikipedia.

 

A stock clown character of

The commedia dell'arte,

The "little skirmisher" of

The grand Republican Party,

 

Dressed all in black, becomes

The latest White House hack --

Sucking on his thumbs

He'll go on the attack

 

As the servant of a zany

Who is, like him, a boaster.

During the Trump campaign, he

Rode the roller-coaster,

 

Seemed not to be too scared,

Although he did get dizzy,

A fuzziness he shared

With those that he kept busy

 

Talking to Russian banks,

Raising lots of money --

Now Trump bestows his thanks

On a clown who is not funny.

 

 

FALLING TOWN

 

Washington is falling down,

Falling down, falling down,

Washington is falling down

Due to Donny!

 

Soon there will be nothing left,

Nothing left, nothing left,

Soon there will be nothing left --

He's worse than Ronny!

 

Fit him out with iron bars,

Iron bars, iron bars,

Fit him out with iron bars,

This disaster!

 

Lady Liberty is dead,

She is dead, she is dead!

Lady Liberty is dead:

He's dis-assed her!

 

Our religion is silver and hold,

Silver and gold, silver and gold,

Our religion is silver and gold,

Our leader's a Brahman!

 

Washington is falling down,

Falling down, falling down,

Washington is falling down,

Our God is Mammon!

 

BULLY

 

Trump is nasty, sad and bitter,

Knows how to use the bully Twitter.

 

MITCH McCONNELL HAD A BILL

 

Mitch McConnell had a bill,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

And in this bill there was mere swill,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

With a suck-suck here

And a suck-suck there,

Here a suck, there a suck

Everywhere a suck-suck,

Mitch McConnell had a bill,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

 

And so that bill was bound to fail,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

Just listen to the Senate wail!

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

With a weep-weep here,

And a snivel there --

Here a weep, there a weep,

Everywhere a snivel-weep,

Suck-suck here

And a suck-suck there,

Here a suck, there a suck

Everywhere a suck-suck,

Mitch McConnell HAD a bill,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

 

Donald Trump will be so mad,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

He'll throw a tantrum oh! so bad,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

With some drivel here and drivel there.,

Here a stomp, there a stomp,

Everywhere a stomp-stomp --

weep-weep here,

And a snivel there --

Here a weep, there a weep,

Everywhere a snivel-weep,

Suck-suck here

And a suck-suck there

Here a suck, there a suck,

Everywhere a suck-suck --

Mitch McConnell had a bill,

Oy veh, oy veh, oh!

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.

MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS, Part Nine

 

FRITZ AND RITZ

(To the tune of "Bringing in the Sheaves")

 

Putin on the Ritz,

Putin on the Ritz,

He will come rejoicing,

Putin on the Ritz!

 

Putin on the Ritz,

Putin on the Ritz,

Trump will trumpet Putin

Putin on the Ritz!

 

Trump is on the fritz,

Trump is on the fritz,

Trump is out of order --

He is on the fritz!

 

Trump is on the fritz,

Really on the fritz!

Trump takes Putin's orders --

We are having fits!

 

 

TRAVEL BAN.      

 

"Call it anything you wish,

I just want a travel ban

On whatever is Islamish --

Call it anything you wish,

Fowl or animal or fish 

From Iran or from Sudan;

Call it anything you wish

I just want a travel ban."

 

 

TWEETY BIRD

 

Tweetybird, Tweetybird, where would you fare?

"To London, to London - they better beware."

To do what in London with tweets and with flare?

"To fight with a Muslim I'd like to meet there."

To fight with a Muslim? But why would you care?

"This Muslim's a leader, the old city's mayor.

I'd like to confront him down deep in his lair --

I'll poke out his eyeballs and muss up his hair."

Tweetybird, Tweetybird, you wouldn't dare!

"Oh, yes, I would! I'd stare and I'd glare

And then I would give him a poke or a pair!"

But what if he kicked you or kneed you down there

Under your buckle, in your pubic hair?

"He wouldn't dare do that! That wouldn't be fair!"     

 

 

THE BRAZEN TRUMPET

 

I need loyalty, I expect loyalty --

That's because I am royalty.

 

 

TRUMP IN DECLINE

 

I will not come, I will not come

To visit you in the UK

If demonstrations clog the streets

Against me -- that is not okay.

 

I will not come, I will not come

To visit you, Theresa May,

If folks don't welcome me with pomp --

Not tomorrow, not today.

 

I will not come, I will not come

If Brits refuse to shout "Hurray!"

For I am brazen Donald Trump

And if I come trumpets must play!

 

 

CABINETRY

 

"Thank you, thank you, Cabinetry,

For praising my ass off because you love me.

You're right! I AM great! As great as I can be!

You just need to open your eyes and you'll see

Kim Jong and I are the nuts on a tree!"

 

 

TRIO

 

Kim Jong Il and Donald Trump

Learned a lot from Forrest Gump.

 

 

THE RINSE PUBIS SONG

(To the tune of "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition," with apologies to the shade of Frank Loesser).

 

Kiss his ass and pass the deposition,

Kiss his ass and pass the deposition,

Kiss his ass and pass the deposition,

And we'll all go free!

 

Bare his ass and swing into position,

I just love to be a politician!

Kiss his ass, we're all between Perdition

And the deep Blue sea!

 

Yes, the Dork, our President, has said it:

"You have got to give me lots of credit,

For we're all out on a mighty mission

On the Fake News on TV!

 

"All aboard, we ain't a-goin' fishin' --

Kiss my ass and pass the deposition

Ain't it great to be a politician?

You just might go free!"

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Eight

 

SECRETS

(To the tune of "I've Got Sixpence.")

 

Trump's got secrets,

Super-secret secrets,

Trump's got secrets

To last him four more years!

He's got stuff to secrete

That he'd rather tweet

Or leak into the Russians' ears!

(Poor ears!)

 

No cares has he to grieve him,

Nor conscience left to deceive him,

He's happy as a shark, believe him,

As he blows hot air out his hole --

Out his hole, out his hole,

As he blows hot air out his hole!

 

 

TRIP

 

Trumpelstiltskin's gone to sea

To gad about, perhaps to see

A sheik,  a pope, a manatee --

Petty Trumpelstiltskin!h

 

 

TRUMP TO NETANYAHU

 

"I never mentioned Israel!

The reason why? I cannot tell,

But this I know, and know full well --

I never mentioned Israel!"

 

 

LITTLE BOY TRUMP

 

Little boy Trump,

Blow your own horn

As you have been doing

since you were born.

But where is the boy

Who whimpers and weeps?

He lives in a White House

Full of white creeps.

Should we awaken him?

Useless to try,

He'll merely start whimpering

And spit in our eye.

 

 

WORMY MATH

 

Two and two is four,

(Trumpkin, Trumpkin,)

Four and four is eight,

(Counting up your budget gold,)

Eight and eight is sixteen,

(You and your arithmetic)

Sixteen and sixteen is forty-five

(Are just $two trillion off!

 

 

IMMEMORIAL DAY 2017. 

 

"I would like to wish everyone, including all haters and losers (of which, sadly, there are many) a truly happy and enjoyable Memorial Day!" -- Donald Trump

 

I wish Donald Trump

A hunk of my rump,

And a rather large lump

Of what I must dump.

May he lose his member

So he will remember.

 

 

COVFEFE

A Riddle on a Neologism by Donald Trump.

 

Come meet the extra virgin

Of whom you may have heard,

Virgin number seventy-three

Free and, I give you my word,

Even better than the seventy-two

From Isis you'll get when you're dead --

Even better, believe me you!

 

(Who is the extra virgin?)

 

From Miss Pussy’s Parlor Songs by Claudette McFang.

 

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Seven

 

PART SEVEN

 

THE WAR ON COAL

 

The War on Coal is over

With windmills in the air,

With solar panels on our roofs

And water everywhere!

 

The War on Coal is over,

It's back to shoveling stone,

Reviving radiation --

Cancer in the bone!

 

The War on Coal is over!

We're fracking "natural" gas,

With pipelines full of petroleum

And methane up the ass!

 

 

DO AS I SAY

 

"Do as I say, not as I do,"

Says Vladimir the Vamp

To Donald Trump, his favorite,

Most cuddly little scamp.

 

"You've violated every law

Agreed to by the nations!

If you don't quit it right away

I'll minimize your rations.

 

"What I've done in the Caucasus

And elsewhere is quite legal --

The Russian Bear can do such stuff,

But not the puny Eagle,

 

"So leave my pal Assad alone

To gas his folks in Syria!

Do nothing more to make him pay,

To make him loathe and fear ya!

 

"Or I will somehow make you do,

Not what I do, but say.

I'm Vlad Bear Chest as you must know --

I thought that you were gay!"

 

 

SPICER "THINKS"

 

That famous basher al-Assad

Is worse than Adolf Schickelgruber

Who never gassed his untervolk

When Deutschland was alles uber.

 

The Holocaust never occurred --

Auschwitz was a Nazi spa,

Apparently, where people went

When they were feeling kind of blah.

 

When one is born, then time begins,

And everything that came before

Does not exist, so Spicer thinks,

Thus it is easy to ignore.

 

 

THE BIGGEST BOMB

 

The biggest bomb in the modern world

Carries the onus of being hurled

By the biggest anus of the smallest lump

Of dust in the cosmos, Donald Trump.

 

 

ARMADA

 

" We're sending an armada

Full of deadly weapons

To threaten North Korea

With TNT and atoms.

 

"Our task force will arrive

Any day and assail ya,"

Donald Trump avers...,

"Wait! Now they're in Australia!

 

"I'm pretty sure I mentioned

To all my Navy buddies

That they should hit Korea,

Not play with fuddy-duddies

 

"Down-Under at their war games.

There's some misunderstanding

About what they're supposed to do,

Where their bombs should be landing!

 

"I guess I'll have to handle

This mess all by myself!

Hand down my water pistol

Lying on that shelf!"

 

 

ARSONIC

 

The CinC went on TV

To say Comey was fired.

Comey saw on TV news

That he'd been disenhired!

 

The President was very brave,

For he had been empowered

To hire and fire almost at will --

He was no sleazy coward

 

Hiding in the Oval Office

While on the other coast

Comey at a conference

Found he had lost his post --

 

Trump's email co-conspirator

When Hillary was running

Found out what gratitude's about:

Perfidy and cunning.

 

 

TRUMPELSTILTSKIN

 

Today I'll lie, tomorrow too,

The next I'll tell a whopper wild

Enough to match the things I do,

For Trumpelstiltskin I am styled!

 

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Five

PART FIVE

 

Palin waved to Putin from her porch,

She called to him over the Bering Sea,

"Donald will be sending you the torch

That once was held by our Miss Liberty!” 

"Da," Putin said.

 

 

CINNABON MAN

 

Oh, Cinnabon, who is gonna ice you?

Oh, Cinnabon, who is gonna ice you?

Oh, Cinnabon, who is gonna ice you, all in a day?

 

Run to the moon, "Moon, won't you ice me?"

Run to the sea, "Sea, won't you ice me?"

Run to the sun, "Sun, won't you ice me, all in a day?"

 

Trump said, "Cinnabon, moon'll be a-bleeding."

Trump said, "Cinnabon, sea'll be a-sinking."

Trump said, "Cinnabon, sun'll be a-freezing, all in a day."

 

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, won't you stop your lyin'?

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, won't you stop your lyin'?

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, won't you stop your lyin' just for a day?

 

Trump said, "No, because I am a lion."

Trump said, "No, because I am a lion."

Trump said, "No, because I am a lion roarin' every day."

 

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, where can I run to?

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, where can I run to?

Oh, Donald Trumpkin, where can I run to every single day?

 

"No use a-runnin' -- you already voted."

"No use a-runnin' -- you already voted."

"No use a-runnin' -- you already voted, all in a day."

 

 

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, have you come back?

"I've been to Sweden to see the attack!"

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, were terrorists there?

"Only poor Trumpkin under a chair."

 

 

It's a long way across the border,

it's a long way to go.

It's a long way across the border,

But Donald Trump says, "Blow!"

 

Farewell to all that's decent,

Back to poverty --

It's a long way across the border,

Back to what I tried to flee.

 

 

Do you have a peepee?

Nono, not the girls' room.

Do you have a pussy?

Nono, not the boys' room.

Peepee in the boys' room,

Piddle in the girls' room,

Do them both -- piddle or crap

Sitting in Donnie Trumpkin's lap.

 

 

Rumpletrumpkin says, "I'll choose

Which media may hear my news:

Not those that may be run by Jews

Like The Times that may abuse

My fake stories -- those amuse

My supporters who don't accuse

Me of holding such stupid views."

 

 

ATTORNEY GENERAL

 

Did Jeff Sessions

Talk to the Russians?

He says he didn't, but the answer is "Yes."

Shouldn't the law

Stick in his craw?

Of course, but instead he's making a mess.

 

His new recusal

Is now an accusal

But Trump's still patting his lawyer's back.

Trumpkin's attorney

Will soon take a journey --

Hopefully both will enjoy Session's sack.

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.

Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Four

 

MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS, PART FOUR

 

IN A MONSTROUS INAUGARTION

(Rewritten by Claudette McFang after Albert W. Ketelbey's "In a Monastery Garden"

and inspired by a Facebook typo for "inauguration".)

 

Through the murky twilight falling

Emails from afar are calling

And appalling all the weary

As attendees can attest.

 

The Washington Monument is reeling,

And Republicans are stealing

While Democrats appeal for mercy --

None are obliged, and none are blessed.

 

We rove about in a darkling land

That once seemed merely dull and bland.

I hear a voice that seems to tell me

The White House has a scary guest.

 

Joy won't come again with morning,

Not with these dark storm clouds forming

Now Donald Trump's the turtle dove

Replacing what had been our best.

 

 

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, where have you been?

"Checking the scene at Bowling Green."

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you there?

"Looked for the Massacre -- everywhere."

Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you find?

"I found that Kellyanne's out of her mind."

 

 

We have a crooked President who has a crooked smile --

He found a crooked judge, he thinks, who doesn't like his style.

He tweeted, "What a dirty rat, the countermanding louse!"

And went on fuming in his White and quite disgusting House.

 

 

A Trump came trumpeting out of his Tower

With pussies galore to show off his power.

He could sing nothing but, "Hey, look at me!

I am the greatest...ass you'll ever see!"

 

 

The Trump administration thinks that they're entrepreneurs,

But that's not true, of course, because they're strictly amateurs

Excepting when they turn themselves into self-saboteurs.

One wonders how this Cabinet's incompetence endures.

 

 

Little Don Trump

Sat in a hump

Eating his humble pie.

"California is out

Of control, and I'll pout,"

He said, "till I spit in their eye."j

 

 

"It's common sense!" Says Donald Trump

In phrases clipped and terse,

But he'd not recognize common sense

With two Pence in his purse.

 

 

"pOTUS" has a little pee,

His thoughts are in the drainer.

He means it when he does something

And says, "It's a no-brainer."

 

 

Trump, Trump, Trump, the gang is munching,

Cheer up, comrades they are dumb,

And beneath the starry flag they will soon eat crow again

In the freedom of our own beloved home.

 

 

COMPOSED IN THE SHOWER

 

What can we say about Flynn?

It's hard to know where to begin.

   He was man of the hour

   Before Trump was in power,

But now he is out and not in.

 

 

KELLYANNE'S PITCH

 

As Donald Trump's majorette minion,

It is my most humble opinion

Attacking his daughter's nice clothes

Is punching the President's nose.

So don't drop her line at the mall --

They haven't at Moscow's street stall

Because it's just fine. You should buy it --

I'm sure you'll agree if you try it.

 

From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.