NATIONAL ENQUIRY
(To the tune of "Where Has My Little Dog Gone?")
Where, oh, where has my dear Pecker gone,
Where, oh where can he be,
With my tale cut short and his friendship quite long,
Where, oh where can he be?
Alas! I fear that my Pecker has flipped
And he's telling stories on me!
My ass is dragging and his tongue has slipped --
Alas and alack! Woe is me!
Where, oh, where has my old Pecker gone,
Where, oh where can he be?
My tale's is unsaved and his safe was quite strong,
Who knows where my sad tale may be?
R. I. P. JOHN MC CAIN
August 29, 1936 - August 25, 2018.
The senator of many terms
Must now become dessert for worms.
No war devoured his flesh or brain,
But his own cells ate John McCain.
FAREWELL TO DONALD TRUMP
Don't insult me, Donald, when I'm gone!
Buddy, though our friendship was never on,
Why not try doing something right
Now and then? Try hard, with all your might.
We're parting, you'll go your way, I'll go mine
I have just this to do
Give a little diss and hope it brings
Little luck to you.
I think it's kind of funny
How with all your money
Your friends are far snd few.
Don't insult me, Donald, when I'm gone
Please don't talk about me, Donny, when I'm gone.
Though our friendship ceases, from now on,
If you can't say anything real nice,
Do not talk at all, is my advice.
We're parting, you'll go your way, I'll go mine.
I have just this to do:
Here's a little diss, I hope it dumps
Lots and lots of shit on you,
But makes no difference how I carry on
Please don't talk about me
Please don't talk about me
Please don't talk about me
Please don't talk about me
Please don't talk about me
Please don't talk about me, Donny,
And don't come to my funeral when I'm gone!
MONKEY BUSINESS
"My language may be kinda clunky,"
Says Ron DiSantis, "but you know,
Voting for Gillum would be to monkey
Up my nomination, so
"Vote for me for Governor
Of Florida, and don't go ape
Over this Black guy! I'm for Trump,
So you're sure I'll never rape,
"'Cuz I can pay for prostitutes,
As my mentor always does,
Fot I'm a Navy lawyer, pal,
Not some Demo-Commie scuz
"Like Andy Gillum -- put him back
In the Tallahassee zoo
Where he belongs with simians,
Not on the streets with me and you."
DONALD TRUMP HOT
Donald Trump hot,
Donald Trump cold,
Donald Trump in a plot
With his gold.
Some like him hot,
Some like him cold,
Most like him in his plot
With his gold.
KAVANAUGH
What's Justice Ginsberg made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice --
That's what she is made of.
What is Judge Kavanaugh made of?
Slugs and snails
And old lizard tails --
That's what he is made of.
ANNE OMINOUS
"She bravely grows euonymus
And signs her tripe 'Anonymous.'"
TOME
As Santa admonishes each elf,
"You have nothing to fear but 'FEAR' itself."
LITTLE JEFF SESSIONS
(To the tune of "Little Sir Echo.")
Little Jeff Sessions, find out who wrote
That op-ed piece! (What op-ed piece?) THAT op-ed piece!
Little Jeff Sessions, don't be a goat!
(Won't be a goat) Don't be a goat!
Won't you ever do what I say? (I say!)
YOU say? (YOU say!)
You're a dumb Southern fellow
I know by your voice,
But you never will do as I say! (I say!)
Don't you dare to recuse yourself! (Recuse myself?)
Again! (Again?) Again! (Again?)
Or I will put you back on the shelf!
(The shelf?) YOUR shelf)
(MY shelf?) YOUR shelf.
So you had better do what I say! (I say!)
You're a dumb Southern fellow
I know by your voice,
But you'd better do what I say!
Or else! (Or else?) OR ELSE!
From MISS PUSSY'S PARLOR SONGS by Claudette McFang.
Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, Part Twenty-eight
PART TWENTY-EIGHT
NOT BORDERLINE
"I'm not the Lord,
But I AM the lorder.
Shut off our border!
That is an order."
GUTS
"My gut tells me more than my
brain does --
The reason for this is simple:
My gut is the size of a goiter,
My brain is as big as a pimple."
PUTIN IN A PENTHOUSE
"I offered my friend Vlad a no-
rent house
Worth fifty million bucks on top
of my
Hotel in Moscow if he'd let me
build
It there. That never happened.
I 'm not a louse
Because what didn't happen's
not a lie,
It's just a Russian castle in the
air.
"A guy can dream, can't he, and
not be called
A traitor when nothing
happens? When a deal
Falls through? I just like building
walls,
So why should people be
appalled
When I make money from it?
Walls are real,
Not castles in the sky. When
Mammon calls
"I answer, rush to build a well-
meant house
So I can offer Vlad a great
penthouse."
PRONE
Common sense has been
Trumped,
Intelligence dumped,
And General Kelly
Is out on his belly.
KASHOGGI WAS A CUTUP
Kashoggi was a cutup,
But there is no smoking saw,
So he lies here with his butt up
Looking beaten up and raw.
We know the Saudi Crown
Prince
Was the cause behind the
scene,
But there us no smoking saw
Lying where Kashoggi's been.
The reporter was a cutup,
Now he's just some lumps of meat
Trump says we have to swallow
Smiling while we chew and eat,
Fir we can't upset the Saudis,
They are much too damned
important --
They buy our finest weapons
And their oil must be imported.
Yes, Kashoggi was a cutup,
And the Saudis Trump the law,
So he lies here with his butt up
For there is no smoking saw.
HAVING A SMOCK
Now and then Trump likes to have a smock,
And then he taps his keg, turns on his cock.
DISGUSTION
We watched Schumer and Nancy Pelosi
Have a disgustion with Bela Lugosi.
December 16, 2018 in American History, Commentary, Criticism, Current Affairs, Epigrams, History, Humor & Satire, Literature, Nursery Rhymes, Poems, Poetry, Politics, Punography, Satire | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: Donald Trump, Miss Pussy's Parlor Songs, poems., satire